“Oh crap,” says Helen.

Who should go?

Jake says to Penny, “You know, I don’t ever see them plotting and discussing strategy. I don’t think there’s an alliance between them. So I’ve decided to vote for the one person I have the greatest chance in convincing to vote against her tribe, Jan.”

“Jake, that’s brilliant. No one would ever suspect you have an alliance with her if you vote for her,” Penny says, twisting her evil-plans mustache were she to have one. She knows her only chance to stay on the island is if Jake gets booted. “Hey, Jake. When Jeff asks you questions during Tribal Council, would you mind saying things that’ll annoy Clay?”

“If you think that’s what’s best…” Jake says cluelessly.

Meanwhile, after Jake comments about how the old Chuay Gahn has no alliance and never discusses strategy, the old Chuay Gahn discusses who to boot off the island.

Jake sees them and thinks, “I am so dead.”

Penny thinks, “It was so easy to manipulate them into thinking I’m not with Jake. I am SO going to win this game.”

The sea creature thinks, “Dammit, she could’ve at least washed her hair before the challenge.”

Tribal Council I Would Like to See

Jeff Probst says, “Ok, usually this is the time when I milk you Survivors with pointed questions hoping, expecting controversial stuff to come out. When we first came up with the plan for this show, this looked great on paper. We expected arguing. We expected people to uncover alliances. We expected anger and resentment to be a result of my questions clearly designed to stir things up. All of this would lead to great TV because no one wants to watch people being civil to each other.

“But none of this is happening. You guys are all playing under the radar. You never open up and really say what’s on your minds.

“So, as a result, we’ve decided to change things a bit. On another show called Temptation Island, during their tribal council thing, the couples got to see videos of their partners living it up with beautiful people willing to do anything for camera time.”

A big-screen TV rises up behind Jeff. “Ok guys, we’ve captured personal moments that each of you didn’t realize was being videotaped. We’ll show a 1-minute montage of each person saying and doing very incriminating things. THEN we’ll open up the floor for comments and questions and hopefully this show will finally get some controversy.

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